The Cloud Pit

I’m drinking Strawberry Alice

A little more than a month ago I saw the Mr. Beer Premium Home Brew Kit on sale at Woot! for $20, about half what it typically sells for in stores when they pack the shelves with them around Christmas time. I’ve been curious for a while about home-brewing as a hobby so bought it on impulse without even really knowing what goes into beer making.

Mr. Beer makes brewing a fairly simple process by selling malt extracts chosen for their flavor profiles in the exact proportions you need to make beer in the 2 gallon fermenter that comes with the kit. There are plenty of flavors to choose from, lots of ways you can combine them, and you are free to add any other fermentable sugars or aromatics, or purchase different strains of yeast if you want to enhance the recipes. So it saves a lot of work, extracting sugars from gains, etc., but there is still plenty of room to be creative.

Anyway, I took the beer mix that came with the kit - the West Coast Pale Ale, and to make it interesting, I pureed three small jars of Strawberries and added it to the mix.  If you add fruit, you are supposed to use pasteurized fruit from jars or cans to assure that you aren’t adding any foreign bacteria into the fermenter. It turns out that about 75% of the work that goes into making beer is sanitizing everything that comes into contact with your beer to prevent it from becoming a breeding ground for various non-tasty bacteria strains.

Sprinkle in the yeast that comes along with the mix, and stick the whole mess in a closet somewhere while the yeast colony converts the sugar into alcohol.

After about 10 days I gave it a taste - and it tasted like hot flat beer. That’s good, it means its done its initial fermentation.  The next step is to carbonate the beer. This requires adding more sugar and sealing it into its final serving bottles to trap the carbon dioxide produced by fermentation. Here’s where it gets a little more complicated.  I could have spooned table sugar into the 24oz plastic bottles that Mr. Beer came with…but the pros prefer corn sugar and beer drinkers in general prefer to have it served to them in a glass long neck.

So before my first beer, which I call Strawberry Alice, was ready for bottling, I made a trip to the homebrew store for some dextrose and some more bottling equipment, I picked up another Mr. Beer kit from a seller on Craigslist, and I ordered more beer ingredients from mrbeer.com. So my beer making operation has expanded somewhat and now looks something like this…

So after bottling Stawberry Alice (a process that involved collecting bottles from parties like a bag lady and the purchase of bottle-capper that cost as much as the entire Mr. Beer Kit), it sat in the closet for another two weeks. I took one out to cool it down and on the same day started my second brew.

This one has no fruit, but I did add brown sugar to the wort, and am adding hops (pictured below) to enhance the flavor.

So my second, as yet unnamed brew is bubbling in my bedroom closet, and Strawberry Alice is conditioning in the fridge.  During the conditioning phase, the beer gains clarity and complexity as it ages in the refrigerator, but of course I took one out to try it as soon as it was cold.

And its good. It’s light and very drinkable with a gentle fruit flavor and most importantly - bubbles, which was the part I worried about most. The flavor ought to improve over the next few months so it ought to make a great summer beverage.

So you should come by for a cold one this summer because there isn’t going to be any shortage of beer in my fridge. I’m honestly more interested in making it than in drinking it in large quantities. Does anyone out there have an excess of meat? Maybe we should plan a barbecue.

Bridezillas, Cereal, and…wait for it…Time Travel

Tonight is my last night working as an assistant editor on Bridezillas, and if I have learned one thing during my short stay it is that this show is produced and edited in the creepiest building to be alone in at night in the whole of Los Angeles.  In the nine days I was here I heard multiple stories about how this building was once a hospital, how it once housed the screening room where Howard Hughes locked himself up and started peeing in milk jars, how there may or may not be a tunnel underneath of it built by bootleggers during prohibition, and how the woman who comes in at night to clean carries a bible to ward off mischievous spirits that would otherwise knock over her vacuum cleaner. I was here by myself between 2 and 4am a couple times and did not relish the experience.

So that’s probably the worst thing about my last two weeks. The BEST thing about where I’ve been working (aside from several very cool people, some of whom forced me to do karaoke, which is something I swore I would never do, and to a terrible song no less, but who were very supportive at least), the BEST thing, is this framed fucking cereal in the kitchen.

It displays 12 cereal pieces, their manufacturer, and the year they were introduced, and I would fight a dragon to have one of these in my kitchen, or oddly enough in my bathroom.  Here’s a closer look.

Kix has been around since 1937.  Who knew?

While I’m on the subject of cereal, I was breakfast shopping the other day and saw this incredibly dubious claim on a box of Lucky Charms.

I searched the box for some legalese that said something like “these marshmallows do not grant extrodinary access to the flow of time,” but didn’t find it.

I love time travel. LOVE IT. But have time travel stories become so mainstream that kids are thinking about it while they eat breakfast? Thanks, I suppose, is due to Heroes which features mostly entertaining but laughably inconsistent and nonsensical time travel story arcs and Lost which features time travel story arcs that are remarkably logical and consistent at the cost of staying true to the characters and draining the show of any dramatic tension. Someone needs to do righteous time travel fit for public consumption, or just let the nerds have it back.

Wow, I took it there didn’t I. Until next time.

NOW its a blog.

I’ve had a presence, minimal as it may have been, on the internet for over ten years now, since before the word “blog” existed. If I was a more talented web designer or had a lot more free time to devote to my digital footprint maybe I could maintain something that could legitimately be called a “website,” but blogs are just so much easier now and if I’m ever going to make the fun little posts that make a site worth checking, I really need it to be super easy.  So here it is.  My fucking blog. I plan to re-post all or most of the entries that made my previous site so blog-like, so if you forgot to write down the list of my favorite movies from 2006 - don’t despair.

September 16, 2008

Shortly after my last update, I was turned on to an internet meme that challenges you to come up with 101 realistic life goals, and achieve all of them in within 1001 days. Thinking of 101 somewhat significant goals is actually a lot harder than I anticipated. I started writing my list in March and I still only have 65 things on my list. Of course I’m not waiting until I finish the list to start after my goals, and I’m actually aiming to finish everything before I turn 30, which would put me a little under the 1001 day mark.

You can keep up with my dubious accomplishments by checking out my new page
101 in 1001: A Chronicle in Pictures
On the last weekend of this month, I’ll be traveling to backwoods PA for a wilderness rafting adventure/bachelor party. Hopefully I can knock two or three things off the list when I get back.

February 28, 2008

Want to let my opinions dictate your tastes? Okay!
2007 in Review

Favorite Song
None Shall Pass by Aesop Rock
Favorite Album
Oppenheimer (self ttled)
Favorite Movie
3:10 to Yuma directed by James Mangold
honorable mention
No Country For Old Men directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
Favorite TV Show

(discovered in 2007)
Heroes - Season 1
(aired in 2007)
Rome - Season 2
Favorite Book
(discovered in 2007)
Watchmen by Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons
(published in 2007)
The Accidental Time Machine by Joe Haldeman
Favorite Trailer
Sunshine
honorable mention
Iron Man

January 20, 2008

Despite the fact that I’m typing this update in the American Airlines terminal of the Chicago O’Hare airport, I won’t be able post until I get back to LA much later this evening (read, 20 days later) because sadly, the internet still isn’t free. So its 2008, the future, and the world is still lagging drearily behind my expectations.
In my update from October of last year I mentioned a “theoretical” promotion that has since solidified into an actual promotion to junior editorial within Herzog. I’m working nights, almost exclusively on HD Online Editing. My primary activity over my Christmas vacation was explaining to people what I do when I’m not on vacation, and after watching the blank look come over people’s faces during the fifth or sixth sentence of my speech, I get to wishing I had just pointed people toward this wikipedia article about onlining.
I’m also moving again. I don’t really like the apartment I live in. It is big, but that is about all it has going for it. It is expensive, gothic and old, has no laundry, parking, or air conditioning, and the paper thin walls and large windows invite the sound of the busy intersection right into room. I gave my 30 days notice without having a new place in mind - a move that people who don’t live in LA can hardly comprehend, and within only a few days of searching I found a place in Studio City. More on the new place in my next post when I will hopefully have pictures.

November 03, 2007

Well, constant reader, this is it. This is an update for the sole purpose of linking you to other interesting things on the internet. Any plausible deniability that this is not a “blog” has just gone out the window.
Make sure you check out my friend and colleague Matt Walden defend America’s most hilarious presidential candidate on G4’s Attack of the Show.

And while you are surfing, check out Jon Ronson’s three part documentary Crazy Rulers of the World. The first part is about secret paranormal experiments conducted by the US military. Don’t start watching this until you have 40 minutes of free time, because you won’t be able to look away.

I forgot to mention that there is a new black and white photo on the portfolio page. It is called “The Night Crew.”

October 24, 2007

The word “blog” isn’t that old. I was hoping that it would come to mean “a prefab fill in the blanks web format with hosting supported by advertisements” but instead it has come to mean “any website with regular editorial updates.” So I give up. Call this a blog if you want, you can’t fight the English language, but I’m still going to call it a website.

Anyway, I’ve always tried to keep this site about myself without making it into a public diary, but I think it would be strange for me to not mention that Cristine and I have separated after almost four years. Anyway, without punishing you with details, I’m living in our apartment by myself right now, probably moving in December, and Cristine is taking care of the cats.

In other recent developments, I was moved back to night work at Herzog Cowen in time for my one year anniversary at the company. I had worked nights from October of last year through the end of June this year - 9 months. I spent 3 months as a daytime assistant editor, and now I’ve accepted a move back to nights but I’m theoretically no longer a general assistant, but rather a junior editor and online assistant. The difference, this week anyway, is that I’m actually cutting something instead of making quicktimes and digitizing tapes.

I also wanted to report a successful birthday. The highlight was a They Might Be Giants show at the Avalon in Hollywood (thanks to Cristine for the tix), and the big surprise was the opening act Oppenheimer, who sounded amazing. They are playing at the TLA in Philly where I first saw TMBG years ago this Thanksgiving weekend, and if I had $800 for a plane ticket home I would be there. So if you’re in the tri-state area for the Thanksgiving, I highly recommend this show.

September 9, 2007

I’m not so materially obsessed that I relish the thought of growing older for the sake of receiving birthday gifts. Still, September has always seemed like something of a speed bump in the year, a good time to slow down and take stock. All that being said, this post includes a list of shit you could buy me for my birthday if that’s something you’re interested in doing. And if you’re last name isn’t the same as mine, I don’t see why you would be.

Firstly, I can’t believe this set of travel posters from the Firefly/Serenity universe exists, and I must have them soon.

Computer wise, I’m falling way behind the curve in flash memory computer peripherals. My128mb flash drive just isn’t cutting it anymore. This one looks neat, and purports to be the smallest in the world. Wonder why its so inexpensive. I’m also starting to wish my computer had an All-in one card reader, especially since my cell phone now apparently accepts flash memory. I’m also really in need of more storage space for my desktop computer.

Warning! Don’t attempt to browse Polish Poster.com unless you have a least an hour of free time, because I guarantee you will be unable to resist exploring this ridiculous website. There are three of my favorites.
1. Innerspace
2. Star Wars
3. Alien
And perhaps most importantly an Amazon.com wishlist filled with exciting miscellanea.
There you go mom, stop asking.

August 26, 2007

The three year anniversary of this web-effort is approaching, and due to a dreadful staleness in the kind of self-news I have to offer, posts have trickled down to six and eight month updates. So in case you were worried - no I haven’t lost my fingers, or forgotten how to use spell-check - I just haven’t had much to talk about.

In work related news, I’ve learned a lot at HCE, and since my last post, have moved from working nights (6pm to 4am, five days a week for NINE months) to having a fairly secure daytime position as an assistant editor. My role in the company has changed often, from logging tapes, general night assist, to leading the night assist crew, to B-roll pulling, to day time general assistant, and in the coming weeks I’ll be focusing on online editing (conforming finished pieces for delivery, color correction, and quality control). Anyway, everyone will know my name at this year’s Christmas party.
Also, Christine and I moved this summer. If you decide to send me something in the mail (thanks for those books Bryan), make sure you get my new address. The place is much bigger and nicer in many ways (for example, I’m typing this in my office) without being much more expensive. I don’t really have any pictures of the place yet, but I’m sure I’ll post them in another six months. I did however just take a picture of my office with my cell - and that reminds me - be careful not to leave a phone set to vibrate on the lip of the sink while the water is running. In other news, I recently got a new cell phone.
I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but last summer I started hounding people to participate in online advertising offers as my “referrals” - so that I could get a free gift. I wasn’t able to convince most of my so-called friends to sign up for anything, but the venture worked out very well overall. I did eventually receive a totally free X-Box 360 (which I immediately had modded) and a free Zune (which kicks an ipod’s ass) before I got bored with the effort.

Without really meaning too, I’ve become a Microsoft apologist wherever I go. I now carry a PC laptop in a wonderful Microsoft branded messenger bag that also holds my Microsoft Zune, and you wouldn’t believe how much shit I get for it. You know what, I actually think apple makes some neat products, but when I have that kind of money to spend on frills that I don’t absolutely need to get by - first I’m going to have my teeth whitened, then maybe I’ll get an iphone.

I shake my head in wonder every other day when I hear the date, and this has been going on since late March. This year has been fast and challenging in every way. I haven’t worked this hard since I was in film school, or partied this little since I was in diapers.
As usual, I’ll end this post with a vague promise to keep the internet more informed about my goals, my expectations, and the all the changes worth mentioning. On that note, see you around Christmas.

Oh, and of course, a shout out to my friend and FSU film school classmate Will Bigham, winner of the first season of On The Lot. Congratulations Will and best of luck!